Why Is Menopause Hormone Therapy Treated Like a Dirty Word?

A postmenopausal woman’s story of medical dismissal, hormone loss, and the fight for real care.

I’m not a doctor. I’m a postmenopausal woman who spent 17 years bouncing between specialists, trying to figure out why my body was falling apart while everyone around me kept saying, "It’s just menopause."

They were wrong, and here is my story, as I am tired of pretending this is okay.

Middle-aged woman with graying hair looking out a window, appearing thoughtful; overlaid text reads "Why Is Hormone Therapy Treated Like a Dirty Word?" with the website uncookedtruths.com.

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I Wasn't Offered Help, I Had to Fight for It

Hot flashes that soaked my sheets. A resting heart rate that felt like a panic attack. Blood sugar crashes. Weight gain. Sleepless nights. Brain fog so thick I forgot words I’ve known for decades.

Like so many others, I experienced a long list of menopause symptoms doctors often ignore, from heart palpitations to memory loss.

The doctors ran tests and said I was fine. When I wasn’t fine, they said it was anxiety. One cardiologist told me to come back in three months, after starting beta blockers for the palpitations. With tears in my eyes, I asked what I was supposed to do for the rest of the symptoms. She looked me in the face and said, “Until you see a psychiatrist for your anxiety, you’re not getting estrogen.”

It took years, and a pile of research, rage, and persistence, to finally get menopause hormone therapy (MHT). Not because it was offered. Because I demanded it. I started to wonder if I was the only one dealing with midlife body changes no one explains, or if I just wasn’t being heard.

Being told to “just walk more” didn’t help me feel better. In fact, when movement isn’t enough, it just feels like another dismissal.

Why Is Hormone Replacement Therapy Still Treated Like a Luxury Item?

We replace thyroid hormones without a second thought. We give insulin to diabetics. We give blood pressure meds to people with hypertension. No one says, "Try yoga first" when your pancreas fails.

But lose your estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone? Suddenly it’s, “Have you tried walking more?” This isn’t science. It’s sexism with a stethoscope.

We Lose Our Hormones, But We Don’t Lose Our Need for Them

Estrogen supports your bones, brain, heart, and more. Progesterone helps regulate mood, sleep, and anxiety. Testosterone contributes to muscle, libido, and energy. You don’t need to take my word for it; go look it up. The science is there.

You don’t stop needing these things just because you turned 50. The truth is, we were never designed to live this long after menopause. For most of human history, women died around the time their periods stopped. The ovaries shut down, and that was the end of the story.

But now? We live into our 80s and beyond. And we’re spending half of our lives, if not more, in a hormone-depleted state, developing chronic diseases, and wondering why we feel like we’re falling apart.

That’s not "natural." That’s neglect.

What Happened in 2002, and Why It Still Hurts Us

If you don’t know about the WHI study, look it up. Or don’t. I’ll summarize: In 2002, a WHI study scared the hell out of everyone by claiming hormone therapy caused breast cancer. The details? It was based on women in their 60s, long past menopause, using a very specific kind of MHT that we barely use anymore.

The fallout? Doctors stopped prescribing it. Women were pulled off it overnight. And an entire generation learned to suffer in silence. We’re still living in that shadow.

I’m Not Saying Every Woman Needs MHT

I’m saying every woman deserves a conversation with her doctor, with full information, not fear. Some women can’t take hormones due to cancer risk. Others don’t want to. That’s fine. There are options for each category of women.

But many women are never even told what’s possible. Never offered choices. Just handed antidepressants, lubricants, or told to wait it out. Imagine treating any other major health issue that way.

If Men Went Through Menopause…

...we’d have hormone clinics on every street corner. There would be no shortage of testosterone prescriptions. No shame. No dismissive smiles. No, “It’s just your age.” Let’s stop pretending women’s suffering is more noble than men’s treatment.

So, How Do We Fix This?

We educate ourselves first.
We talk about it. Loudly.
We support each other. Fiercely.
We stop apologizing for wanting to feel better.
We reject the idea that pain is normal.
We demand better care.

You don’t have to be a doctor to speak the truth. You don’t need credentials to say, "I deserve to feel like myself again." And if someone doesn’t like that? Too bad.

Final Word

This isn’t about hormones. It’s about being heard. If you’re in the middle of this mess, wondering if you’re crazy, you're not. If you’re angry, good. Use it.

I did. And I’m finally back to being me. Let’s stop waiting for permission.

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Disclaimer: I’m not a medical professional, and nothing in this article is meant as medical advice. I share my personal experience and what’s worked for me, but always talk to your doctor before making changes to your health, medications, or routine. 